Culture & Tradition in Shaping Parenting Practices in Pakistan
Parenting in Pakistan has always been a delicate balancing act. It’s a lot like figuring out the perfect biscuit dunk, too long, and it’ll fall apart; too short, and the nosy aunt in the family WhatsApp group will judge you for not raising a “genius” who can code apps by next week. One moment you’re teaching your child to say salaam to every elder in the room, the next you’re frantically Googling creative activities to keep them “on track”, as the uncles say.
This push-and-pull has created something uniquely Pakistani: a style of parenting that constantly evolves, yet stays rooted in tradition, family, and a whole lot of chaos.
Education and Aspirations
For decades, success was summed up in three words: doctor, engineer, or CSP. Anything else? Beta, yeh hobby hai, career nahin. (that’s a hobby, not a career)
And it’s not just a stereotype — Pakistan actually produces tens of thousands of engineering and medical graduates every year. In fact, the Pakistan Engineering Council has over 300,000 registered engineers, while the Pakistan Medical and Dental Council registers over 350,000 doctors. If you’re wondering why every desi shaadi conversation involves “meri beti doctor hai,” well, there’s your answer.
But the tide is shifting. Parents today are more open to kids exploring diverse paths: media studies, design, even entrepreneurship. TikTok chefs, YouTube tutors, and startup founders are proving that passion can pay bills if combined with hard work.
Still, this is the South Asian turf. No matter what you earn, the pressure never goes away. “Stability” is king, and sometimes it overshadows actual happiness. Even if you’re a wildly successful content creator, somewhere your parents are sighing because they can’t proudly tell relatives at a wedding, “Our beta is a doctor.” And yeah… that stings.
Technology and Media Influence
Smartphones have changed the game. A mother in Lahore can pick up Montessori hacks from YouTube, while a father in Karachi might listen to a podcast on positive discipline during his chai break. Parenting is no longer just passed down through dadi’s stern lectures or chacha’s “back in my day” tales, it’s now crowd-sourced from parenting blogs, reels, and global experts.
But more advice means more questions: How much screen time is too much? Should my 12-year-old have TikTok? Somewhere between “don’t touch your phone” and “go start a YouTube channel,” parents are juggling cultural caution with digital curiosity.
The Extended Family Factor
Want to know Pakistan’s ultimate team sport? Parenting.
It’s an 11-player formation: Mom and Dad on attack, grandparents anchoring midfield, chacha insisting he’s captain of the defense, khala diving heroically into tackles, and phuppo…well, she’s the unpredictable goalkeeper. Everyone’s got an opinion and the coordination is chaotic at best. Safe to say, no one believes in parenting solo. Even the neighbors are at the sidelines, jumping in with their unsolicited advice.
This isn’t a surprising scenario for many. The average Pakistani household has 6.3 members (Pakistan Bureau of Statistics). Compare that to 2.6 in the U.S., and suddenly it makes sense why there’s always someone around to weigh in on whether your kid’s handwriting is neat enough.
This can be both a blessing (built-in childcare, strong community bonds) and a challenge (too many opinions, conflicts over discipline, constant headache). Respecting elders while carving out modern parenting choices? That’s the tightrope every Pakistani parent tiptoes across daily
Tradition vs. Modernization
Modern parents might lean toward open communication, emotional support, and encouraging independence. But traditions haven’t disappeared, they’ve adapted.
A teenager might be allowed to choose their field of study, but they’re still expected to follow cultural norms around family values and gender roles. Kids may go to international schools, but Eid is still celebrated with cousins in a house overflowing with samosas and Eidi. Bedtime stories may now include Harry Potter, but moral lessons are still wrapped in Urdu folktales. At its heart, the practices are the same, just wrapped in a shinier packaging now.
The Balancing Act
Overall, parenting in Pakistan hasn’t flipped the script completely. It’s more like a remix, a small transition in the middle of the track, nothing too crazy because we don’t want the world to collapse just yet. Taking away desi parenting tricks from our elders is like taking away their secret lasso. And honestly, that’s part of the charm.
There’s no total rejection of change. Instead, the magic lies in adaptation: respecting dadi’s stories while letting kids explore new hobbies, balancing nosy cousins’ advice with TikTok trends, and mixing bedtime stories with screen-time negotiations. Pakistani parenting today is a mashup of old-school wisdom and modern hacks, a track that’s new, yet grounded in the cultural fabric that makes Pakistan what it is.
